Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I need a kidney bean or two

Sometimes I just don’t want to do it.  I just want to be able to lay down at night and go to sleep without having to hook up to a machine.  Don’t get me wrong; I am completely thankful to God that such technology exists that allows me to live.  Dialysis is not awesome but it also is not bad.  Yes of course if I had a choice I definitely would not choose to do dialysis.  I would choose to be healthy but this is my journey and I’m ok with that.   God has really been great to me.  He has given me strength.  Without him I don’t think I could do this.  At the end of the day I am human and though I am dealing with this quite well sometimes I just want to be NORMAL.  I wish I didn’t have to worry about heating a bag for dialysis.  I wish I didn’t have to hook up to a machine so it can do what my kidneys should be doing for me.  I wish I had a functioning kidney or two.  I wish I could just go to bed without a cord attached to me.

I have been on dialysis for four years.  My dialysis anniversary was on June 3rd.

So that being said, one of my other wishes is to get a kidney transplant soon.  Sometimes I’m just so tired of this daily routine.  I have forgotten what a life without dialysis feels like and sometimes I feel as though I may never know that life again.  I know for certain that I will probably not know a life without medication but that’s ok as long as I don’t have to rely on a machine.  I don’t usually complain, I don’t like to but I am human after all and well, I do get tired of it.

I pray every single day for a miracle whether it is a kidney or two or whether it’s me just being completely healed.  Either one I would be extremely happy and thankful for.

These are my Wednesday wishes.  I hope I wasn't all over the place.  When it comes to sharing my feeling about my dialysis I tend to jumble everything up.

So, if you have or have not been here you'll know that this is my first Wednesday Wishes link up.  You should link up too.  I'd like to read all about your wishes.  Share your links in the comments.

Love the Here and Now

Enjoy your Wednesday and thank you for stopping by.


  1. Thank you so much for linking up with me....I am thrilled to have you. I admire your strength and your positive outlook. Life is not always fair, as we all know, but how we choose to look at it and handle it is what truly sets us apart. What an inspiration you are to all of us....thank you for sharing your wishes!

  2. Aww... thank you so much! You really warmed my heart.

  3. Stopping by from the linkup - praying for your wishes as well!!

  4. Girl I'd definitely give you one of mine if I was a match. I hope the good Lord provides you with one and will definitely pray for you sweetie.